Last night was interesting and fairly jolly.

Met the girls after the Annual National Coin Dealer's convention (known to those in the trade as "Coin-Ex") They had recruited a little 19 year old feathercut for our entertainment from the convention.

We took him to the Roxy for his first ever night out in London (aah, bless) and danced most of the night. Later on, we took him home and put him in the snug. He seemed to like it.

Also, taught lots of people to do ratface on the dancefloor and the nightbus. Humanity can be divided into those who "get" ratface and those who don't. It's a useful yardstick at times.

Was a bit miserable this morning due to lack of interview/job offers/food in the cupboard so was pleased & also surprised to get a phone call from the Barbican offering me an interview for production manager, a role I applied for before I went to America. Fingers crossed.

Have been researching synaesthesia and am interested to find that synaesthetes are often -
Female, left-handed,bad at directions, intelligent & artistic. My type of synaesthesia is fairly rare with only 1 in 6 synaesthetes linking sounds with tastes. However, there is not a great deal of research into the condition and it has only been recognised for about 300 years so what I've written above may be complete bollocks...

On that note I shall go and take a nap. I think we're out again later if I can summon up the energy.

Last night was fun. Went to see Terry's band play at Bar Rhumba on Shaftesbury Avenue (a place I have not been to since I was a student). It was this night run by some guy named Aslan. I just wanted to put that in there because I love the name. Everyone chipped in to pay my doortax which was adorable.

Anyway, there was a veritable smorgasbord of delightful feathercuts there. Mmmm. There is nothing in the world like a London fevver. (Apart from a scally fevver but they are a different breed altogether and are not really comparable) It has strengthened my resolve to go prowling at Bedrock on Friday. It's been far too long....This time Helen and I are not going to bite people. We are going to be nice. Carla is coming out too and it's going to be fantastic.

Terry's band want to shoot their next video in our basement and for us to be in it. Which is going to be hilarious..

Spent a lot of the night sipping from my hip flask and ruminating on love. Sometimes it's just so utterly surprising, is it not? Two people who would be last on your list as a likely couple can just meet and - bam - fall in love in about an hour. Then, next time you see them it's all public declarations of love and they have that "lit from within" look. You wonder why you never got them together years ago. I am referring of course to Terry, Lorny's bruv, and festival Catherine, stuntwoman extraordinaire. They were both fucking glowing last night. It was sweet.

It's the Annual National Coindealer's Convention tonight which always means trouble for the House of Rats. Friday is Bedrock. On Saturday I have two houseparties to go to. On Sunday I am going to the Harvest Festival at St Martin's. I am going to do all this on a tenner. Blag, blag, blag. Blag.

Went for £5 eat all you can vegetarian buffet with Helen and Fuad last night. So fucking good to see him again, I've missed the boy so much. Slipped comfortably back in to old jokes and conversational rhythms.... Inevitable political discussions with a sprinkling of gossip and racial bantering. Perfect. I love a bit of cultural tourism, me. Apparently.

Hels keeps trying to persuade me to go to Morrocco with her in a couple of weeks. Using the fact that the Sahara is there as an incentive. Temptress...

Today me and Helsy had an adventure-filled day of spreading the love....We walked from our house to Greenwich and back. It took six hours in total (usually only takes an hour) and was very fun.

Our first stop was at the adventure playground over the road from our house. We played with all the 10 year olds for a bit, beat them at everything and then moved on triumphant. My 11 year old brother has told me that I have the same mental age as him and sometimes I think he's right.

After that we went to Limehouse Basin where we were apprehended trying to steal two canoes. The man who caught us was very nice though and told us about some castle and reservoir in Hackney where you can play in canoes for £3, which I didn't quite understand, but sounds fun. I think we might go there soon.

We stopped at another playground and went on a rope-swing over a burnt mattress and a shopping trolley, ah urban bliss.

Then we got to Greenwich and ate some food in the park whilst scaring two girls.

After that we started to make our way home, walked through some bushes and up a hill, and found ourselves in the stable yard of an equestrian centre in the middle of the city. It was fucking odd. Helsy asked if she could "borrow a horse". She was a bit put out when they said no and grumbled for at least 15 minutes.

The we looked at the llamas, wandered through the empty docklands, waxed lyrical about architecture and urban landscape, saw some sculptures of rabbit people in a corporate institution and went home.

It was a good day indeed.

Calling all you dusty freaky types...check out this wondrous thing...and no, I do not spend too much time on the internet looking at Burning Man websites.

Ok, am not bored anymore, made peace with myself last night.

Also, just had a long phone conversation with my little bruv during which I recruited him for next year's Burn. Oooooh, it's gonna be so fucking good. Perhaps worryingly, he seemed most inspired by tales of Tree, Josie Rose and Big-E...

He also offered to pay October's rent for me, the darling. Of course I refused though as he has more money problems than me. I will find it somehow- currently selling stuff on ebay. Again. Full time jobs are almost impossible to come by it seems.

Yam has just left us to get the bus back to Cardiff. Sad to see him go as he's been living with us since May or so. Will miss him.

Over and out.

DTs have gone - very short bout thank God... Does not seem directly proportionate to the number of weeks spent drinking solidly but maybe that's because I have the constitution of an ox.... Now their evil companion, boredom, has set in..Bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored. Reduced to mooning about the house eating biscuits, picking random objects up and putting them down, stroking furniture, sighing etc. Sort it out Jessica.

On the plus side though I did get a sweet card through the post today from the Sargeant and a cd with a ton of Burning Man photos on. That alleviated the boredom for approximately an hour. Also, an email from PuppyBollocks, the little sweetheart.

Think I'll go for a long walk and then a Turkish Bath to see if it gets the Playa dust from under my nails...

I think I have DTs. It's fucking horrible and I really don't like it...

The post has just arrived and mum has sent me a tenner and some lace pants. Official thankyou to the Mother Creature for enabling me to go to the shop and buy some bread, tomatoes & cheese, thus saving me from the breadline - literally. Mum, you're a star.

While we're on the subject, big shout out to my wonderful friends who have kept me supplied in beer, whisky, club entry & food over the past week. Particularly Boudicca who cooked all my meals over the weekend and also made me laugh constantly.

Love to you all.

" All the great teachers have preached that Man, originally, was a wanderer in the scorching and barren wilderness of this world - and that to rediscover his humanity, he must slough off attachments and take to the road.

Natural selection has designed us- from the structure of our braincells to the structure of our big toe for a career of seasonal journeys on foot through a blistering land of desert. So, if the desert were "home" if our instincts were forged in the desert to survive the rigours of the desert - then it is easier to unerstand why greener pastures pall on us; why possessions exhaust us and why Pascal's imaginary man found his comfortable lodgings a prison."

Bruce Chatwin.

Last night at the circus was absolutely fantastic. There were lots of wierd people dressed up like freaks, an amazing rock and roll playlist, monkeys, popcorn and poor man's Burlesque. They give you tattoos, rum, pencil moustaches and popcorn at the door. We dressed up as showgirls and had such a brilliant time....I cannot recommend this club highly enough.

Taught some random girls sat at our table to do ratface and then one of them kissed me although she was keen to stress she's "not gay." I fell in love with one of the organisers, a man wearing a silver hat and braces. Got shy when he talked to me though, but will be braver next time.

Right, have got to go and tidy up. The bathroom looks like someone's killed a crow where I fashioned a headpiece out of leftover Burning Man twigs and a boa using nail scissors. Kidneys are grumbling too. This week has been too much fun. Am gonna give it a rest tonight.

The following is a direct transcript of Helsy's text last night -

"I'm there, I'm yankeedd and I'm still the only white person in Brix too toe dance in a hip hop bible and make a tyc of her reje. CU in five love xxxxxxxx"

Needless to say, she never made it. We were at the Pleasure Unit watching a band who were generic, but had enough homoeroticism in their act to make them enjoyable.

It was Boudicca's Cardboard Citz leaving do and I had already been reduced to tears by Beulah's speech, which was horribly beautiful and very complimentary of Boo. So it was all worth it then Boody. The actual do itself was held at the City darts, a very fun pub run by Sandra's son-in-law. The clientele consisted of the following - Homeless and ex-homeless participants, east end gangsters and card sharks, mad chinese women & very butch dykes. Basically everyone who can't get in to Sandra's as they are too raucous/dribbly/dangerous. I liked it.

Today I am taking my nasty head out of the city to Epping Forest to see & smell the trees.

Then, tonight we are going to Oh My God I Miss You. It is an indie circus disco held in an old men's working club. We are going to go Burlesque. It will be lots of fun indeed.

Tomorrow it is gay day at London Zoo. There will be Drag Queens & monkeys. You get in for cheap if you're gay. The other day they were letting ginger people in free. I think they have employed an insane new marketing and development officer.

Ok, must leave now...

Oh God...have not had a hangover like this for seven weeks and feel fucking horrible.

Last night (which was dubbed "returning, man") nine of my best friends came over to our house for a big dinner. Then we went on a West End rampage and didn't get home till 6am....

I knew it was gonna be a raucous one when Courtney burst in to the house already drunk at 8pm and fell on my wardrobe in manner of a starved hooligan pixie. It was great cos I gifted him the clothes he chose and he didn't believe me.

Liam then turned up fresh off the plane from Amsterdam and much squeaking ensued. I do love that boy, he's like a big lovely bear. He and Lorny are still in the snug and we're gonna eat Chinese food and watch films today. And mong.

Courtney brought his new (serious!) boyfriend out last night. He's called Adam and is absolutley wonderful. Seems really sweet and innocent, and then started discussing the merits of ketamine with me over dinner.

Courtney disgraced himself a lot by flirting horribly with me all night in the club, trying to snog me every few minutes, touching me up and being generally predatory. I wouldn't mind but Adam's so adorable, it's fucking rude. Courts you are a bad, naughty show-off. Stoppit.

I am pleased, because Liam and I managed not to go on a drug binge last night when we got back from the club. It was quite close. Carlsy brought over some crystal meth for me which, apparently I bought at Global Gathering back in July and then lost in the tent or something. I think it was meant to be mdma. That would explain why my brother was so utterly fuckoed. Why does this keep happening to me? Sort it out.

Little Yam was so bad last night it took four of us to pull him off the nightbus. Reminded me of the scene in trainspotting where Johnny Swan leaves Renton outside as he's comatose. Bit worried as Yam's never been like that before, and Lorn says he did it on the tube the other night too - but it was highly amusing.

Anyway, going to go and try and find a film in the snug that isn't any of the following -

Directed by David Lynch

Directed by Phillip Ridley

Point Break

Showgirls

Ghost dog

"The following are of the kind of friends -

One who has played with you in the dust."

The Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana

Have been in touch with Shaun, Jamie, Cathy no Bathy and of course the wonderful Pepper. Is nice to think of family scattered far and wide.

The comedown seems to be diminishing and things are indeed looking up...

Everyone is so overwhelmedly pleased to see me back that it's infectious. Thankyou little rats. I do love you.

Tonight the girls have organised a dinner for me which Courtney Cuntface and Carla Parr will be at. After that we're going to our favourite filthy wednesday night rock dive in order to see Little Chris and Big Macca, drink £1 a shot whisky, snarl at feathercuts and be horrendous. Mmmm.

We are also partying on Friday night down Brick Lane for Boo's leaving do from Cardboard Citizens (she is at last free!), and Saturday night too if I have my way. Methinks a visit to Kill All Hippies is in order.

The rats have organised flights to Hamburg in order to see Liam's band (The Pedestrians) play which is sure to be outrageous. Manc scallys descend. En Masse.

Boudicca has sorted tickets to see Matthew Bourne's Edward Scissorhands which will no doubt be his most beautiful production to date. Am almost beside myself.

There was talk last night of organising a summer festival through Boo's new company - Remarkable Productions - which I immediately tried to hijack as a Burn. She seemed enthused with the idea so that's exciting.

They are definitely doing a great job of distracting me from my malaise.

Saw Luce and little Gracey yesterday. Went to the park and fed ducks. Lucy is blooming, halfway through her second pregnancy. It's great to see her so happy.

Have got some duty manager work. Did my first (trial) shift last night on 2 hours sleep and everything went swimmingly. Got the job. Easy money. Am now working in the theatre dahling. Was nice to be part of the backstage hustle and bustle, people frantically getting their costumes ready and running about in wigs & little else. Reminds me of somewhere....

So, it's now 7.30am. The grey dawn has infiltrated the East End. Am still awake, drinking leftover Sangria while everyone sleeps and it seems like as good a time as any to write about what happened at Burning Man. It's hard to encapsulate what really happened so here's a random catalogue of events...

At Burning Man I....

Passed out from the heat in a garbage trailer.

Drank incredible amounts of whisky.

Revelled in 40mph winds and chased dust devils.

Rode through the city singing my heart out with the Sargeant.

Ate dust.

Became E-tarded.

Cried.

Laughed.

Got married by a Buddhist whore to a blinky, fluffy, cross-dressing Hunter S. Thompson impersonator in front of the entire camp.

Attended a Ceilidh.

Shadow danced to Heart of Glass on a huge screen.

Chilled in a jacuzzi on a bus under the hot hot sun whilst swigging neat tequila

Consumed Bitch Snacks. (Fucking excellent invention)

Went to work and placed art

Pole danced with my husband on a mushroom.

Saw lots of fire

Washed the Sergeant after she washed me. (Beautiful bonding experience)

Participated in war on Camp Apokalyptika and became Captain Muffin.

Smelt sage burning.

Marvelled at Colossus

Cheated on my husband with a beautiful, perfect gentleman wearing a fur coat called Siverdan.

Became a regular at Pillow Fight Club.

Got kicked out of Pillow Fight club for snogging a random Irishman.

Roamed the Playa with a member of my family who was tripping so much they thought that an octopus installation was a "crocodile donkey."

Attended a Burlesque S & M vampire bar for my wedding night.

Visited Dicky in his box.

Danced at a ragga party

Rode inside a blue pig which was accessible by drawbridge

Caught my husband cheating on me with two ladies on a sofa in the middle of the desert whilst I bounced on a box dressed as a fairy.

Went to a beatles night at Club Verboten and rocked the place.

Adopted a new little brother whom I adore.

Went to a saloon

Watched my friends fight members of Camp Apokalyptika at the Thunderdome

Bounced on a UV trampoline under the stars wearing a Tutu.

Bounced on a non-UV trampoline with three naked men under the sun.

Perched on a toilet wearing aforementioned tutu whilst random men unfairly berated me and the Sargeant killed herself laughing.

Was tortured in the confessors chair

Listened to the most beautiful rendition of Ave Maria at the temple burn.

Fell in love with most people I met, and indeed the whole fucking thing, but more importantly than that - made some truly life-long friends, which I was not expecting at all....

Definitely got the blues...

It's about 4am here in grey London, midday Reno time.

Was completely pissing it down when I got to Paris, talk about a pathetic fallacy.

Richie met me at the airport though, which was wonderful. He took me home, bought me champagne and cake, listened to my witterings about the wonder of dust (that must seem so fucking odd to someone who's never been) and then cooked me dinner. We watched Fear and Loathing and at some point I passed out. When I woke up he was gone..

Now feeling very sad indeed.

oh.my.god.

Back from desert. No words can describe it quite frankly - completely and utterly mindblowing. Now going to a casino to wash, eat and get drunk with Burners. Will maybe transcribe my journal tomorrow when I get back from our waterpark decompression.