I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Patrick Bateman is really quite a nice chap.

Turtle and I can’t make the burn this year due to lack of ££££s.

Fucking gutted.

Feeling rather ropey today due to the fact that I had too much fun last night at Burning Pub. So fucking good to be amongst Burners again. So good in fact that I got a little bit overexcited and, unbeknownst to Turtle, volunteered him to do an acoustic set at Nowhere this year for the indie rock camp.

Turtle and I also started making plans for another rather large Burn related project arising from a conversation with Santi that shall for the moment remain top secret.

Hooray! We're back on track. Spring is officially here.

A Life Aquatic?

This last ten days have been an eye opener.

Fuck a barge. You can get a sound as fuck 117' 1958 cruising residential trawler for the same price as a posh canal boat. Imagine that?! Chugging up through the North Sea and descending on Dougal & Pepper with a megaphone and the announcement that they are so fucking doomed....

Turtle and I have discovered that there is a world of nautical opportunity out there which excites me greatly. Admittedly, a trawler may be slightly ambitious for a first time buy, and would perhaps be more suitable when we are in our forties and completely insane.

However, we should make a start on this in the next couple of months. We are thinking solid steel, we are thinking ex-Navy, we are thinking historical, we are thinking 4-5 berth, we are thinking solar panels, we are thinking hard as fuck and self sufficient. In short – we are thinking zombie proof.

Important amendment to lifeplan:

Erm...It would appear that Turtle and I might just have bought a boat. To live on. In Richmond and Uxbridge (Got two moorings thrown in for free). She's big (67 foot), she's beautiful and she's ours (almost).

We are going to have the most fun ever - cruising our home down the Thames, past the Houses of Parliament, blaring out Fleetwood Mac and then mooring up in Little Venice for the night, sticking two fingers up to the rich people with million pound houses, living next door to them for free.

Cosying up for the night and crafting it up while the rain patters on the windows and then waking up in the morning and feeding swans through the bedroom window.

I don't know why the fuck we didn't think of this before. I am so fucking excited. We sign the papers tonight and then.....get nautical.