Bugger.

I am walking the 6 miles to and from work at the moment as my overdraft is at 1,750 and I have no money for the bus. (Cue first violin) So, anyway right, I was walking home along the canal this evening, quietly contemplating an night in alone and hungry as the whole house has gone out for a meal which I cannot afford(cue second violin) when I got stung twice in the throat by a very late wasp(cue viola) to which I am allergic (cue cello).

And there you have it, a string quartet poised to serenade my tale with Pachelbel's Canon or something equally befitting. Maybe the Verve.

However, I am grateful for the following -

• The wasp did not get my windpipe or I would not be here typing this now, I would be down A&E for a tracheotomy. The swelling is alright actually.
• It is not raining
• I am not living in Pakistan
• I have a job to walk to and from
• I have discovered fresh Begby material in a Vox and Roll compilation which I bought for 25p. His family Christmas - fucking hilarious, thanks Irv.
• There are no wasps in the desert

Now am off to wash down some anti-histamine with scotch