The rest of the weekend fairly flew by in a haze of alcohol and giggles.

Robin's party was a strange sight. A scummy warehouse blasting out Drum n bass, filled to the rafters with odd, mostly wizened festival crew and every single one of the fuckers had a big yellow balloon jammed between their lips at all times. Dirty nitrous heads. I love 'em. Boo and I declined although it was all free.

I made a new friend called Matt-from-Wales. We bonded over our similar South Wales upbringing and had a story based competition named "How Fuckin' Common Are You?" I won by virtue of the following facts -

1) We never had a kitchen table and used to eat our evening meal off newspapers on the floor every night

2) We had a caravan in our driveway filled with inbred rabbits as well as gerbils, cats, dogs and cockatiels roaming freely round the house

3) We never had wrapping paper at Christmas and used to get our presents in black plastic bin-liners.

I don't think he quite believed me but it's all true.

Boo scored quite highly as well, on account of the fact that she had a tin bath which had to be filled with saucepans of hot water until she was fifteen.

On Sunday me and Boo went to Michael's for lunch. He was on top form; calling us bitches the minute we arrived, fluttering in and out of the kitchen with a great deal of drama, slagging off his neighbours and showing us his holiday snaps which mainly consisted of random shots of young Spanish boys. He even had a picture of the ex (mine) on his PC. Well, honestly. They only met once.

Going to bed now. I haven't slept for three days and started my project management contract this morning. It was fine, but I think I will have to lead a double life for 6 months as all my new colleagues are so fucking nice and normal it's unreal.

Over and out.