Staring up the arse end of the week.

Fabulous stuff. Hello weekend.

The Turtles are very very skint and have been housebound since Monday. Therefore, probably the most exciting thing that has happened this week is that the House of Rats has gained a milkman, something which I thought didn’t happen in London anymore. This, however, is not a complaint. I am enjoying my new frugal existence – nourishing and economical meals, regular exercise, considerably small amount of alcohol and in bed every night by ten. Unused to this worthwhile existence my body has started rebelling and waking me up at 4.30am.

It is a clear sign that I am not really cut out for this lifestyle and shall rectify the situation immediately by consuming my own body weight in cheap whisky over the next two days.

Hello weekend indeed.