The weekend was fun but hideous and included the following –

Learning of two new Mighty Boosh songs. “Isolation” and “Love Games” – particularly fine ditties.

Helsy, Boo and I dressing up as showgirls and biting each other repeatedly to very loud New Order. (God we’re predictable)

Staying in bed most of Saturday and Sunday. Mmmmm.

Circus japes, wilted tinsel and poor man’s burlesque

A new acquaintance with a penchant for falling backwards into tables full of drinks and making printed t-shirts as love gifts.

Blagging fags off the local Sinatra tribute act at Bethnal Green working men’s club.

Grinding in a reggae club full of white wankers with an aeroplane out the back.

Randomly bumping into one of my ex-stewards (who is not a wanker) in the reggae club.

A very unenjoyable Eastenders style family showdown in a pub on Commercial Street on Sunday night.

Curling in hysterics up on the kitchen floor at 4am with a very stoned Rueben half wearing one of my pink negligees whilst Helen shouts “Put your arm through the hole Rueben” until he falls off his chair, crippled by laughter and fear.

Cooking rat meals in honour of big Al and his new Brazilian missus and trying not to swear or be too raucous, drunk or hungover. Failed.

Snuggling of baby Billy.

Gossiping with Jules.

Hiccups and pig like snorts at bed time.

Jamesons.

Tom Yung Kam Bam Gang Slam Tram soup.

Life’s alright actually.