This week I have staged a one-person rebellion against all the wanky LondonCentric bike-bell-pinging helmet & lycra wearing cycle fascists who ride to work along Regents Canal.

I have perfected the art of cycling one handed through the snow whilst talking on my mobile and flicking a be-mittened V sign at anyone who dare complain that I am taking up too much of the canal towpath or riding too slowly.

I have also done the hoovering, created two extremely complex excel spreadsheets complete with comment boxes and applied lots of hand cream.

In addition to these stimulating & invigorating activities I just spent £30 at Yo Sushi with Richie for lunch.

This is shit. I think I need to get out a bit more. Yawn.