I am once again becoming worryingly obsessed with new breed zombies.

I am often convinced that tomorrow will be Dawn of the Dead and lie in bed plotting strategies for defence against these evil rage-filled beasts. I have not been this bad since 2004 when we lived in the mansion and I used to check every door and window before going to sleep at night in case of attack.

On Saturday night I made Turtle watch the Dawn of the Dead remake with me and then made him lock the bedroom door “just in case.”

His gentle non-questioning acceptance of this unreasonable & delusional behaviour bodes well for our marriage as it is unlikely to diminish over the years. It is likely to increase, in fact - helped along by excessive consumption of cheap whisky & factory farmed red meat. mmmmm.