[5/5/2003 5:19:32 PM | Jessica Josef]
O Lord. Why O why did I do that? It’s just one stage further than texting people when you’re fucked. Why in God’s name didn’t someone pull me and Boo away from the computer. We are such nobbers….
Any way, we did get the White Stripes on in the end, and bugger the ravers. We played Elephant for 3 hours. Courtney became my real life air guitar and I was his Jack White. This involved me thrusting and strumming his leg whilst he screeched convincingly and I laid the vocals over the top of it all….for THREE hours whilst people came into the room begging us to stop. Ha!
The other fantastic thing is that we (me Courtney and Boo) outdanced, outdid and generally outshamed all the ravers present by going to an acid techno warehouse party when everyone went to sleep around eight in the morning. I reckon that we fucking rock more than anyone I know. I really wish I took a camera, it was such a perfect sight: Three glam fashionista freaks in a skanky rave, dancing in our high heels amongst the crusties, swigging from a neat bottle of tequila at 9am on Bank Holiday Sunday whilst the sun filtered into the dark warehouse and the sound systems throbbed all around.

Here is the catalogue of events that led to this depraved triptych….

5pm
Met my ex boyfriend in the Tottenham on the corner of Oxford St. Was very nervous and so downed pints as quickly and greedily as possible. Whilst drinking, listened to him talk about himself and his achievements.

8pm
Decide that my ex is a self-obsessed bore. As we are both now tipsy, we fall into our old pattern of bickering. (I had forgotten that we had this) Realise that what you respect at fourteen is not necessarily gonna be cool or positive in any way at twenty three. Doh! Why did that take so long????

8.45pm
Meet my friend Courtney outside the Mean Fiddler. Feel relieved and happy to see him. Am with a girl from home who apparently is the sister of a guy I used to shag. She doesn’t remember me (luckily) and therefore we get on ok. She spends the evening watching the ex’s band with me and Courtney. All feels quite surreal.

10pm
The band finish, we hang around for a bit and then head off to S&M Chris’ house party. Am now very drunk as started drinking cider in the gig (Why?Why?) I fall asleep on the tube and Courtney helps me stagger off to change at Mile End. As we stand on the platform, I piss Courtney off so much that he grabs hold of my neck and throws me on the floor. As I lay there and look up at all the disgusted faces, I realise how drunk I am. This is not good for so early.

10.45pm
Me and Courtney arrive at the party and run in shouting and being vile. We make our way to the kitchen and resume our fight. South African Chris gets upset and leaves the room, but boo merely rolls her eyes.


11pm
In an attempt to calm me down (I think), Boo feeds me a pill and within half an hour, I stop sitting on the sofa looking sulky and start to smile and chat shit to people.

12 Midnight
Me and Boo do more ecstasy.

12.30am
I throw up violently in the sink, surprising even myself. Lovely Stewart saves me lots of embarrassment by swiftly clocking the situation and washing it away before too many people notice. I fall in love with him instantly for this kind act and follow him round for a bit, hugging him and telling him that he’s my saviour.

1am-3am
Simply a big blur. I only know for definite what we were doing around three am, cos the evidence is (cringingly) recorded below. I also know that soon after that the White Stripes/Courtney air guitar thing must have started cos my blog entry says “me and Boo want the White Stripes.” Or something. That usually means we get it.

7am.
We become bored of air guitar games. One of the guys there (Shaun) mentions that there’s a rave on in Stratford industrial estate. I jump at the chance and so does Boo. Courtney’s not so sure but is ok once he’s reapplied his make up. Me and Boo swig neat tequila from the bottle while he’s doing this.

7.30am
We jump in Shaun’s car and go to the rave. Enjoyment is had by all, but most of all by myself I think, as I absorb the much-missed acid techno with grateful bones.

9.30am
Boo and Courtney head home. I stay behind with Shaun. Big mistake.

10am
Shaun leads me upstairs to the squat part of the warehouse where he unceremoniously kisses me in an abandoned toilet whilst taking his clothes off

10.01am
I pull away and say “What the fuck are you doing??” He apologises and says “You can’t blame me for trying.” I then sit him down and explain that I only go for one type of guy. Which he is not.

10.30am
Shaun decides he is “bored” and wants to leave. Quelle surprise. We leave.

10.35am
Shaun drops me off at the top of the industrial estate. Wanker. I start to walk home.

11am
I take a much deserved rest in Mile End park for a few swigs of Tequila and a roll up in the morning sun with Otis Redding going through my head.
11.05am
I start to fall asleep, realise that I look like a wino or an Ab-Fab outtake and begin the last leg of my journey home.

11.30am
I arrive back in Stepney, eighteen and a half hours after leaving and promptly fall asleep with my hat on.

7pm
Courtney wakes me up by coming into my room on all fours panting like a dog. Really scary…

7.30
Me Courtney Lorny and Boo go for free pizza hut. Very nice, civilised and well deserved methinks.

Phew, so that is how it all went. No nakedness, no shagging, but a damn sight more hedonistic regardless. Think I’ll visit a few more raves over the summer. It was most fun. They had 3 warehouses linked together with techno and drum n bass rooms and it was right by the canal. It was sooo lovely sitting there in the morning sun. What a wicked weekend.

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[5/4/2003 2:56:56 AM | Jessica Josef]
Well, we are all at S&M Chris's party....... As yet there is no madness...errr thats a lie...we're all having great and fantastic fun.......there's siver haired fox. a tranny and a south african gent on the bed behind us. We want (me and Boo) the want the white stripes. But this party is full of ravers.......ah wellll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!l
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[5/3/2003 2:29:17 PM | Jessica Josef]
Well now, things are going on pretty much as usual in the world of Jessie J.......here are a few 'snapshots' of my life:

Typical breakfast:
3 strawberries, an olive a large piece of cheese and a small piece of easter egg. Plus the obligatory coffee and 10 cigarettes of course.

Typical overused phrases:
"You're a Nobber"/"I want...."/"feathercuts are nice/sexy/arrogant"

Current album obsession:
The Libertines, "Up the Bracket" (Since October)

Average number of hours spent sleeping:
5 per night

Average number of nights spent in the house:
1 per week

Average number of hours spent on the internet:
24 per week

Average number of nightbus journeys:
4 per week

Average number of nights spent in clubs:
3 per week

Average number of hours at work:
45 per week

Recent memorable incident:

Me stood ankle deep in rainwater in the gutter on Oxford Street with no shoes on shouting "FLAG IT!!! FLAG IT!!!!" at the nightbus at 4.30 am. Of course, the nightbus can not be flagged in manner of a cab. But worse, much worse than this, our resident DJ was walking past at the time, sober and with a look of utter contempt on his face.

New favourite club:
Smash and Grab on a Thursday.

A few words on S & G....it is brilliant. I think that last time I wrote, we were going to the opening. Well, this Thursday was the second week, and it really such a good night. The venue is like a vegas pimp palace, with cream leather sofas, lots of gilt and fishtanks on the dancefloor. We have got our own VIP section and Chris and Herby have really excelled themselves, playing fantastic sets every week. Courtney has become the resident tranny, which is a bit of a liability for me and Boo as we have to act like his minders, fighting off over-macho straight men who want to beat him. All in all, I am really happy with it, although it means another night out per week and my skin is beginning to show severe signs of aging. Ah well, all in the name of fun....

Tonight, I'm going to meet my ex for a drink (scary) and then going to a party at S&M Chris's. The last one is in the archives. We all took Viagra and there was an orgy. (Even scarier.) Will try and write a full report in the week.








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[4/23/2003 10:09:00 AM | Jessica Josef]
Ah…..the times they are a changing.

Saw Ellie (also known as Captain Egg in earlier entries) off to Turkey at half three this morning. She’s going to be living there for 8 months working on a boat as a diving instructor. We both stayed at her sister’s house last night and had a very civilised evening involving curry, red wine, good whiskey and card games. (Of course I made them play the White Stripes to help me along.) Was a very nice and grown up time and both Els and I agreed that staying at Ali’s is rather like staying at your mum’s or at least your aunt’s. Clean sheets (and flat for that matter), bed at eleven, washing up after the meal, etc etc.

As the evening progressed though, I realised that I’ve known these people for so long that they are like family. Spending time with them is so easy and I won’t have that for the time that Ellie’s away. I will really miss her and I don’t think it’s hit me yet that she’s so far away. I did get used to the idea when she moved out of our house though, so I have been prepared. I was thinking about Ellie’s big step on the bus into work this morning, watching all the commuters scurrying to work, considering people’s spring fashion choices (mostly bad), looking at small businesses and thinking I might quite like my own bar, admiring the way the streets change as you come into town from North London and I was suddenly struck by the fact that I don’t want to go anywhere. I love London and feel so settled here, I couldn’t even bear to go away for a weekend.

It’s a bit strange as I always naturally assumed that I would want to travel the world, but the basic truth of it is that I quite simply have no travelling inclination. I feel like I’ve got everything I need here. Amazing friends, enough money to go out clubbing and get drunk and see bands whenever I want, (although that means I can’t buy things like shoes), a fantastic job, a sweet but smelly house. There’s so much to do that I couldn’t possibly do it all if I tried (and I do, believe me). Every day I feel happy and content and also very lucky to be here, having all these experiences.

Phew, that’s enough of that methinks. Tomorrow night is the launch of Little Chris and Herb’s new club night. Hooray!!!! There is much excitement in the house as we now have a clubnight on the scene for Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. So we have just got Tuesday to rest, which is a good thing as we don’t like resting, particularly. It’s gonna be a bigun and I’ve even booked the night off work. Courtney is lending me his Sid and nancy top, which I have coveted for a long time now, so it’s all looking good. Ooooh, can’t wait……………………..

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[4/9/2003 5:38:01 PM | Jessica Josef]
O god…..it’s been so mental lately that I’m gonna have to take a tip out of Boo’s book and do weekly listings of my activities since my last post, otherwise I’ll never get round to writing it all down……..

· Tuesday 1 April
Bought the White Stripes ‘Elephant’, listened. Foamed at the mouth and marvelled at Jack White’s ability to make me believe in love again…….He is a true poetic God.

· Wednesday 2 April
Went to see Kila Kela and Public Enemy at the Forum. Was utterly blown away by both acts. Kila Kela for pure talent and PE for pure and absolute power. Then went on to Candybox and got in a strop cos a feathercut snarled “Fuck off, I’m trying to talk to my mate” when I asked for a light. Little nobber. On nightbus vowed never to go to candybox again, but of course that’s bollocks. Where else can one go for Wednesday night fun and frolics??

· Friday 4 April
Went to see The Faint at ULU. Was happily surprised at their show. Thought they were fantastic. After, went onto Bedrock. A usual night except that me and the girls made friends with Schoolboy (a fevva that we have long admired). Told him of his nickname and he was very upset to the point that he kept on getting his passport out on the dancefloor to prove he was born in the seventies…..I then snogged a mancunian twat with a girlfriend and Boo snogged a guy too (for most of the night actually), while Lorny lay on Boo’s lap peacefully asleep.

· Saturday 5 April
Me and Boo missed a matinee at the national due to the unfortunate fact that we couldn’t move off the living room floor all day. I then dragged myself into work, vowing to get an early one after the concert. No…….ended up in an arab coffee house smoking a shisha, drinking mint tea and chatting with my mate shaz till 4am. Nice night though, really enjoyed feeling like the caterpillar from a Lewis Carroll tale. Seriously.

· Sunday 6 April
Went to meet my mate Liam at a bar in Shoreditch called the Elbow Rooms. Was lovely to see him again and we came up with a scam too…but more about that in future posts. Liam gets drinks for a pound in the otherwise expensive bar and so we drank quite a lot of delicious whiskey sours. The night ended with me weaving my way home alone in my pink pointy shoes, singing “Be like the squirrel girl, give it a whirl” over and over and over all the way up Brick Lane and Whitechapel High Street, causing much mirth amongst the bangledeshis in their doorways.

Monday 7 April
Inevitable hangover on Monday much helped by the fact that me and Lorny had free mystery shopper pizza hut on whitechapel high street. It was one of those ‘eat all you can’ malarkies and we certainly did……..four plates of pizza and pasta each and two trips to the ‘ice cream factory’ (fantastic invention) Waddled into work and read in my tower for a few hours, had a website crisis and then went to that little comedy night at Barcode. Was hoping for a straight to bed quiet one after the show, but unfortunately (well actually fortunately) Little Chris was there. So, ten minutes after the show we were downing tequilas with the most sexy stand up and then we all piled down to Heaven, Chris stopping to buy us gifts on the way. He was on form that night, it was really fun but I flagged at about two and had to leave.

That does bring us up to date methinks.

Am not going out till Friday when I have, by some miracle managed to buy White Stripes tickets……Hooray!!!!!!!!!

I cannot fucking wait……………….It’s gonna be the best.


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Now this post is from about a week ago when the Blogger server was down and it seems a shame to waste it so here him is…………………………..

Ooooh, am all hot and bothered. Have just been running round town in the rain trying to get the White Stripes new album instead of working. Very naughty of me, as I am:

A) Skint

and

B) In charge today cos my manager has decided to reduce his hours to a four day week.

However, this behaviour is justified as I’m completely obsessed with the Holly Golightly song, which I have heard only once. It is the sweetest thing ever. None of my favourite record shops have got it yet though, and I’ll be buggered if I’m going into HMV, Virgin or any of those other bastard enterprises. Oh no, and it’s Candybox tomorrow and I’ve got the money for the album burning away in my pocket. I bet I piss it away. Just think…………

1 x copy of Elephant : 12 Whiskies in Candybox.

Hmmmm……Perhaps I’ll give it to Boo as she’s not coming out. I think I’d better, for mine and everybody else’s safety. Anyway, I have to go now as I’ve got a very demanding and passionate Flamenco dancer coming in to rehearse on our stage at four. I think she may be slightly disappointed as the ‘stage’ is actually a couple of old oak tabletops that I have cunningly pushed together on the floor in manner of proper staging. Oh, the glamour of working in the arts……….




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