So far, the most important thing I have learnt from living on a boat is:

Coots are CUNTS.

5.45 on the dot every morning, without fail, they swim up to an area 5 millimetres from my alcoholic, slumbering visage and make noises like a piglet being slaughtered. Then, once I am uncomfortably awake with no hope of any more sleep they swim off to fuck up someone else's morning.

I hate them.