And so the last week went something like this....

Monday – Played on pedaloes and rowing boats with rats and my Turtle on the Serpentine.

Tuesday – Had dinner with a dear tranny who, I am pleased to see, is very happy and behaving incredibly well. He has decided he wants to live on a farm and join the National Trust but I don’t think that’ll happen. Farms are quite hard work and leave now time for beauty routines.

Wednesday & Thursday – Domestic bliss.

Friday – Went to see some Kippenberger and Roth with my darling fiance in an east end warehouse. Fucking formidable work, good context and it made me think a lot. Which is always refreshing.

Saturday - First festival of the year.

Hels and I created a new way of engaging with the punters:

Piggy back team fights with a rabble of fifteen year olds and drunken men in their 50s to a backdrop of Alice Cooper. Most bruised now. Note to self – boob tubes do not count as practical wear for war.

Ate some pork, danced to “the Littlest Hobo” with my colleagues and then put a very drunken Carla in her sleeping bag as she could not manage it, although I note she had managed to put on stripey toe socks over her jeans.

Also got gifted a luminous green lizard neck ruff by a man who was wearing a rather nice lilac version. Later gifted my one to five year old Maisie(new friend) because it looked better as a little tu-tu on her. She then gifted me a “Wales” baseball cap which she and Carla found on the floor.

I wore the cap with pride in the pub all day Sunday – along with boob-tube, shades, filthy hair and cigarette grafted to my sunburnt hands I made a worryingly convincing double for Britney Spears in Starbucks mode.

Made some excellent new friends from Birmingham and spent Sunday pissing ourselves laughing at their anecdotes.

In the evening cooked seafood ramen for the hungover rats collective.

Dum de dum, I love summer.....bring it on.